My toddler was climbing a 12-foot rock wall when another mother at the park leaned over and exclaimed that I have nerves of steel. In that moment I imagined this old duck analogy; A duck looks calm and collected floating on top of the service but under the water it’s kicking to stay afloat.

 

I definitely feel the nerves and like most moms I can quickly picture at least three things that can go terribly wrong. I do not have nerves of steel but I have learned to strengthen my trust.

 

When it comes to running, jumping, and climbing my son shows little to no fear. Instinctively I’ve always just let him go. There have been times I’ve witnessed others try to slow him down or stop him and those are usually the times he ends up with bruises, black eyes, and skinned knees.

 

When he is about to jump off of something I may think is too high and I yell for him to stop he will hesitate or second guess himself and ends up falling or I get in his way. Even more fascinating is the less I offer help the more likely he is to request it when he needs it. I believe it’s because children are born with trust in themselves.

 

As humans I don’t believe that we innately second guess ourselves. I believe little by little we are taught not to trust the instinct that tells us we can go a little higher, faster, or longer. Perhaps it’s because our caregivers fear for us (understandably so) or maybe because we stopped trusting that we’d be okay after a hard fall.

 

In the decade that I’ve been working with the human body, building people’s strength and endurance, I recognized one common factor: I always knew people were capable of much more than they believed. The question isn’t whether a person is able to go higher, faster, or longer it’s how to you get a person to trust that they are able.

 

I think the technique that’s helped me give the illusion of nerves of steel has translated well with my own physical fortitude and in helping others believe in theirs. My technique is considering the exchange rate. For example: if Cannon were to fall from the rock wall the potential for fatality is slim, most likely he’d end up with some bruises or a broken arm. The lasting effect a broken arm would have on the rest of his life is a one on a scale of one to ten. The lasting effect of Cannon working through the different steps, persevering when he maybe wanted to give up, and completing the rock wall is a eight or nine. It’s quite literally building a core foundation both in his physical and mental strength.

 

If more people were able to look at the exchange rate of their decisions they’d realize that even if their deepest fears were to come true it would have a lasting effect somewhere between a one and three. Conquering your deepest fears, or even attempting the things you didn’t believe you could do, will carry a lasting effect of nine or ten.

 

The next time you are challenged beyond what you believe you can do; the next time you fear even trying: the next time you aren’t sure if you can go higher, faster, or longer I want you to think of the exchange rate and then give it a try.

 

Sweat & Smiles,

Melissa

 

EDITOR'S NOTE: Melissa Romano is the creator of You First Fitness a revolutionary style of personal training program designed to make you the expert on your life and body. She is also the co-creator of Balanced You Wellness Retreats. After graduating from West Virginia Wesleyan College she completed 200+ hours to obtain her Professional Certificate of Personal Fitness Training from Pierpont Community College.  Since 2009 she has worked full-time as a personal trainer, group fitness instructor and wellness coach. She believes in functional fitness, healthy lifestyle changes and a holistic approach to a better, happier, healthier life. In 2015 she welcomed her greatest joy and fiercest life lesson into the world, Cannon Cobb. The two of them can usually be found outside or at one of the local parks. Visit Melissa's Web site at  https://youfirst.fitness/ or email her at melissa@youfirst.fitness.