Negative bias, a psychological phenomenon, explains the bias in negative stimuli having a greater affect on one’s mental state and processes than a positive stimuli of equal intensity. Knowing why this happens is outside of my wheelhouse; practicing a new pattern is my wheelhouse.

 

During this pandemic we are hardwired to run through the list of what-ifs; in fact, we need to run through the list of what-ifs and do what we are able and focus on what we can control. That last line is the most important. Instead of fixating on past mistakes, on the mistakes that other people may be making, and that which is outside of our control - we need to do what we are able and focus on what we can control.

 

It’s time to practice overriding our negativity bias. And the good news is WE CAN.

 

I wholeheartedly understand the stress, overwhelm, and fear. I still have it. And occasionally I run from it and avoid it with Netflix binges, social media scrolling, alcohol, and food. I’ve also put in the effort in overriding this system; I’ve sat right down inside the discomfort. I’ve walked all the way through the what-ifs and regardless of the scenario I come up with the same steps and answers.

 

Someone joked that the current climate seems like the beginning of The Hunger Games and being a fan of young adult dystopian novels I went right on down that rabbit hole. It would be horrific, and heart-wrenching, and all around terrible. And still, the steps are the same.

 

We’ve got to hear, identify, and acknowledge the collective emotion(s) as well as our own. We can’t ignore our own suffering, the suffering of those around us, or the suffering of any human. We need to do what we are able and focus on what we can control. Whether we are casually walking through the paces of our usual everyday life or if the pandemic is knocking right here on our front door; we can implement the same steps that will override our negativity bias.

 

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1. Identify & acknowledge the emotion(s)
2. Consider what you’ve learned and how you might apply that in the future. 
3. Reframe the situation (how can you reframe challenges or any situation in a different light).
4. Establish new patterns (make a list of small doable steps that will help you begin an upward spiral of thinking/being; ask yourself how you can respond and react as your best self right now)
5. Savor positive moments. No matter how small. 
 

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1. Identify & acknowledge the emotion(s)
2. Consider what you’ve learned and how you might apply that in the future. 
3. Reframe the situation (how can you reframe challenges or any situation in a different light).
4. Establish new patterns (make a list of small doable steps that will help you begin an upward spiral of thinking/being; ask yourself how you can respond and react as your best self right now)
5. Savor positive moments. No matter how small.

 

This pandemic sucks. I can feel lonely even when I’m with people; I feel fearful for the world, my son, myself; I feel stressed and frustrated being a small business with no guaranteed income; I feel sad for all those suffering. I have felt all of these feelings before in both small and large quantities I have found that acknowledging these emotions serves me better than shoving them down or away or trying to cover them up with a positive thought. I know that walking through this steps consistently has helped me over and over again and my practices like meditation, mindfulness, and connection work so I will apply them.

 

I reframe this scary time as an opportunity to flex my faith muscle, an opportunity to call upon what I’ve been practicing, and the chance to connect with others and be of service to them (one of my highest needs). I keep a list of 10 Upward Spirals, ten small and simple things that I can do anytime that make me feel better and help my mind take an upward spiral. I ask myself consistently how can I respond and react as my highest self. I mess these things up a good bit and then I go right back to practicing creating new patterns. I savor the positive moments, no matter how small.

 

Even in the midst of the worst case scenarios and chaos we witness nature rebounding, communities coming together, small acts of kindness, the birds chirping outside of your window, a child laughing, a single positive thought, one baby step towards positive action - and they need to be savored and dwelled upon with equal (if not more) fervor than the chaos.

 

I, like many others, am here for support.

 

Look for the helpers.

 

Melissa