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ToquiNotes: As Both Face Disappointments, an Open Letter to BHS Class of 2020 from the Class of 1990

By Jeff Toquinto on May 23, 2020 from ToquiNotes via Connect-Bridgeport.com

I met John Cullen back when he was still a student at Bridgeport High School. This was back around 1990, the year he would graduate from the school and he was one of “Rowe’s kids.”
 
What that meant was he was a student in one of the multiple journalism-related classes Alice Rowe taught for decades at the school. Many of those students got their first taste of writing beyond the classroom at what was then the morning Clarksburg Exponent.
 
At that time, I was about four years into writing sports as a correspondent for the publication owned for years by Cecil B. Highland and seeing youngsters come in to write was commonplace. Some stayed for a few weeks, some for a few years and some never came back.
 
John Cullen was one that myself and everyone else liked right away. In fact, 30 years later, I keep in occasional touch with John. Although it is primarily via social media, I consider him a good friend who I keep up on as he has done well in his post-BHS years.
 
I bring that up as a backdrop to a message I received from Cullen via social media. He asked me to call him, and without hesitation I did.
 
This was to be the Class of 1990’s 30-year Class Reunion. It was set for August. The reunion, like so many other things, has been canceled due to COVID-19.
 
Although admittedly bummed about it, as I talked with Cullen, he said he and several planning the event had their thoughts go to the Class of 2020. The concerns were what they were dealing with as opposed to what they were having to face.
 
“That’s a lot bigger of a deal,” said Cullen as we talked on the phone.
 
In short order, he explained the Class of 1990 wanted to reach out to the Class of 2020. He said they wanted to find a forum to get a message across. They thought about advertising. They had considered their own platforms on social media. And they had even thought about calling yours truly for assistance.
 
The assistance was easy. The message is contained below in its entirety. It is not edited. It has not been changed from what was sent – even the fronts and bold-faced print was left as is.
 
Please take a read of this message if you are a student graduating or a parent or friend of an upcoming graduate. For that matter, anyone should read this as the message contained within applies to all of us – even those not graduating now, in the past, or in the future from BHS.
 
Here it is:
 
An open letter to the Class of 2020 from the Class of 1990.
 
Class of 2020,
 
“What would it take to bring out the best of what might seem an ordinary year?  When faced with expected or unexpected changes, students and staff worked together to overcome any obstacles.”
 
 
These words were written in the prologue of the Bridgeport High School yearbook in 1990.  Whatever the ‘unexpected changes’ were that year, we can all agree, it pales in comparison to the ‘unexpected changes’ you all have been facing in 2020.  Even though none of us could remember the exact circumstances, we faced that year, the answer to the question, posed in the prologue, must have been, “Whatever It Takes”; because that was the theme of our yearbook.  Whatever It Takes.  Seriously, have you ever heard a more ‘Bridgeport response’ to a question?   Whatever it takes
 
The ‘changes’ we faced that year could have been anything.  As students, at Bridgeport High School, we are constantly facing challenges -- it comes with the territory.  Whether as a student, an athlete, or a member of one of the various school organizations, you are constantly challenged, because you are from a school that has experienced a lot of success.  Whether in an athletic competition or an academic event, everyone always gives you their best shot.  The challenges you faced, as a student at BHS, have prepared you, like so many before you, to face the various challenges life will throw your way. 
 
The point is, even though we can’t remember the specific experiences that led us to title our yearbook, Whatever It Takes, itstill serves as a reminder of one of life’s great lessons – be relentless.
 
Now, unlike our class, your class will clearly remember everything about your senior year.  All the highs and the lows – please, don’t forget about the highs.  But, like our class, there are plenty of life lessons you can take from your own yearbook title, “In Focus.”  What an appropriate title for your yearbook, since 20/20 has long been recognized as the standard for normal vision.  But, for the purposes of this letter, let’s spend less time talking about vision and more time talking about the importance of living life in focus
 
If you will allow us, since we have a thirty-year head-start, we thought we would share the importance of staying in focus as you begin this journey.  For example, there are going to be plenty of times, in your lives, when you willneed to do one of these three things:
  • Focus on the Right Things:  One of the biggest challenges for any new graduate, whether they are dealing with a pandemic or not, is where to focus their attention.  It is easy to let your mind wander towards all the different what if scenarios in life.  What if I chose the wrong major?  What if I chose the wrong college? What if I don’t make new friends?  If you allow it, the list can go on and on.  You see, what if scenarios are limitless – they have no finish line and can become a great distraction and source of stress and anxiety.  Try and always keep your focus on the present moment.  What is happening right now that you can control.  Keep your focus on what you can control and keep making the next best decision over and over.
  • Narrow Your Focus:  When setting goals for yourself, be very specific and intentional.  Prior to getting started in the process, ask yourself these three questions – Is it possible? Am I capable? and Am I willing?  Of these three questions, am I willing is probably the most important question.  You are going to find out that achieving ‘big goals,’ in life, requires making ‘big sacrifices’.  But, if you prepare for this ahead of time and are willing to make the sacrifices, then you will be more apt to accomplish your goal.
  • Adjust Your Focus:  Make sure you maintain great clarity around your purpose in life.  Don’t worry, if you don’t have it figured out right now (as your purpose will change from time to time) but always stay true to yourself.  Focus on the ‘why’ as much as the ‘what’.  What do you want to achieve in life? And, why is this important to you? Once you have figured this out – write it down and keep reminding yourself of your ‘what’ and your ‘why’.   
Graduates, these are just some of the lessons you will learn in life – never stop learning. 
 
We just wanted to drop you a note to let you know we are thinking of you and are so excited for you --- you are going to constantly surprise yourself on this journey.  Your resilience, during this pandemic, has already been an inspiration to all of us.  No, this isn’t how you envisioned your senior year playing out, but you have kept moving forward – and, guess what -- most of your lives won’t always go how you envision them either.  Always remember, it isn’t what happens to you that is important, but how you respond.  Life is about choosing the best response, to the events in your life, that you have no control over.  You can always control your response. 
 
Whether you think you are or not – you are ready.  It won’t always be easy, but you are ready and prepared to step out and face whatever challenges life will throw your way.  Just keep the right things in focus and do whatever it takes, and nothing is going to stop you.  We’re all pulling for you.
 
Congratulations graduates --- you did it!  You are a Bridgeport High School graduate – and, we are so proud to call you one of US.
                                            
                                                                                                                                       The Class of 1990
 
Editor's Note: Top photo shows the BHS Class of 2020 during day one in August, while the Class of 1990 is shown at a reunion in the second photo. In the third picture, a group of seniors pose after an early start to the first day of their senior year. In the fourth photo, members of 1990 - including John Cullen, far right - have a laugh at a reunion. Class of 2020 photos by Ben Queen Photography.


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