This blog, written from the depths of my heart, first appeared here on Connect-Bridgeport in 2013. I was the mom of three high school graduates and a 13-year-old son. I wrote the blog because I had been there. I had ridden the bizarre roller coaster of emotion each time one of my kids walked across that stage, received his or her diploma and went off to college. For years, I have told parents of graduates that every chapter of their kids' lives is to be embraced and that each brings its own blessings. The relationship changes somewhat, but that means it continues to grow. I don't know how convincing I was, but I do know one thing: Every time I gave that pep talk, I remembered with comfort and a smile that I still had a little one at home. Well, guess what? Now he is graduating and I'm having to take my own advice. I know this, too, will be an exciting chapter as Jacob goes off to WVU. I'm so very proud of him and excited for his future. I know I'll always be his mommy. I know he will still need me plenty. But I'm not going to lie. There's a little part of me that is panicked about not doing what I have done for the last 35 years and that is raise kids. Like many of you, I will start another chapter. I will discover new things and make new adventures. I will have to make more of an effort to keep friendships alive; friendships with moms of my sons' friends and for which I am truly thankful. We'll be OK, Moms. I promise. The following blog was first inspired by a song by Sara Evans. Each time I've heard it since, I think of this. It must have resonated with moms because through the years, it has been read several thousand times. I hope it helps. Much love to you all: 

 

This is for all you girls about 42 – give or take a few years.

I’m talking to you gals who feel like it was only yesterday that you marched to “Pomp and Circumstance” and flipped the tassels on your caps.

 

Now your child is graduating.

How in the world did that happen?

I can’t answer that question but I do know this: You, my fellow mom, have been on a recent roller coaster ride of emotions.
On one hand, you are proud of punch of your son’s or daughter’s accomplishments. He or she may have performed exceptionally well academically, athletically or artistically. Or maybe not. Perhaps your special graduate was an all-around true blue soul throughout school, being a friend to those who most needed one.

I know that your love and pride for your kid is as deep as it comes. You are his or her biggest fan. When he or she took that walk to receive that diploma, you were in awe. I bet your heart was even pounding a little. You couldn’t have been more excited to see John Bon Jovi himself were on stage before you.

Then there’s the anticipated separation anxiety. In a few short months, college will begin. One of the bedrooms in your house will be empty and yet another dormitory bed with extra-long sheets will be occupied. The words exchanged between my first graduate and me before leaving her at her dorm at WVU are forever etched in my memory:

“I’m a big girl,” she said.

“I know you are,” said Yours Truly – confident on the outside, but sobbing like a baby on the inside.

Then came daughter no. 2, who went all the way to Marshall U. I was crying so hard, I had to wear sunglasses the rest of the day.

Last, but surely not least, is the bit of panic and unpreparedness you’ve been feeling. You’re beating yourself up a little bit because you’ve had 18 years to work on your grad’s scrapbook and there are still missing pictures and newspaper articles. Well, pat yourself on the back for that. You see, the time you’ve spent in heart-to-heart talks with your daughter or hilarious conversation with your son and his friends was time better spent than gluing momentos on a page. There will be time for that. 

The graduation party may not have been just the way you imagined it. Looking back someday, it will be even better. There’s something to be said for imperfect perfection – you, know, those slight faux pas that are so characteristic of your unique family. And so what if you were running late for graduation and were freaking out a little. You all made it in one piece.

The best news of all is this: Your special time with your little boy or girl is not over because of graduation. Members of the Class of 2012 are starting a new chapter and so are you! Each stage of his or her life is so special.

Those heart-to-hearts will continue, perhaps even more often. So will the silly moments. You’ll have the chance to visit on campus. You can even have sleepovers with your daughter, dragging a mattress from another dorm room to make accommodations comfy. And you can still continue to clean your son’s toilet and pick up his laundry. Now there’s a bright spot.

You will still shop with your daughter, not only for clothes, but also for grown-up stuff like Magic Erasers and table lamps.

Looking a little further down the road, there may be future sons- and daughters-in-law – and grandbabies.

So catch a deep breath and relax. You did good.

Remember, every laugh line on your face makes you who you are today.  And I know of one graduate who thinks you are absolutely imperfectly perfect - and he or she adores you for that. 

 

Editor's Note Top/cover photo was taken by Joey Signorelli of Ben Queen Photography during the 2017 BHS graduation. Bottom photos: My family at our first high school graduation in 2001 when Jacob was just a tot and he and I now, just days before his own high school graduation.