The derecho that hit our city in June of 2012 partially uprooted a massive pine tree in the yard of a family who lives close to my neighborhood. About a month later, the lives of those family members were shook by the roots when 27-year-old Vanessa Lyon took her own life inside that house. Cathy Lyon told me that one day – when she was able to do so – she would share the story about her daughter’s suicide. Just this week, she did that as we gathered over a cup of coffee and a stream of tears.

 

Like many young adults, Vanessa had some struggles including the sudden death of her boyfriend who had been tragically killed in a vehicle accident. She was already making some major changes in her young life and perhaps that was just too much to bear. Cathy and her girls have always been close and shared what was going on in their lives and hearts. She watched her daughter mourn one of the people closest to her. They talked about it. She saw that Vanessa got professional help. There were good days and bad days. Vanessa was thriving in her work in child advocacy and had just recently received a grant from Gov. Tomblin to further that selfless career – one for which she had great passion.

 

The morning of July 6, 2012 had seemed to be a good one at the Lyon household. Cathy remembers her conversation with her younger daughter well. They chatted about the day ahead. Vanessa was going to work while her mom, dad and sister took her niece and nephew to an out-of-town doctor’s appointment. They would all meet back up at the house for a holiday cookout.

 

“We were getting ready in the same bathroom,” Cathy said, laughing between her tears. “Ness was taller than me so she was putting on her makeup in the mirror while I brushed my teeth underneath her.”

 

It all seemed normal. It seemed right. It seemed safe. Yet, when the family returned to the house a few hours later, Vanessa’s car was still in the driveway. She must have gotten sick, her family reasoned. But Cathy said she had a very uneasy feeling that something more was wrong. As she, her husband Scott, older daughter Dena and grandkids stepped inside the house, they were met by a note on the kitchen table. The note was from Vanessa. She said she loved them all – and she asked Jesus to please forgive her.

 

It was Dena who ran upstairs and found her younger sister after which she screamed for her parents to call 911. The rest is a bit of a blur, my friend Cathy said. Her little girl was gone. She had died of a self-inflicted gunshot wound. The house was instantly full of emergency responders and police officers. The area where Vanessa had been found was secured.

 

“I wasn’t able to see her or to hold her,” said Cathy, the hurt still fresh in her heart.

 

How – oh how – could this have happened? This is a family who was close, who lived under the same roof, shared their days, their hearts, their feelings and their faith in God.

 

The reason Cathy shared this story with me – and with you – is because she never in a million years saw this tragedy coming. And if it could happen to her family, it could happen to others. It is the hopes and prayers of this family that perhaps this story will give those who are suicidal the courage to speak up, to get help, to run into the arms of family members and friends who will see that they get the help they need.

 

There is nothing that can’t be fixed with the help of those who love you and the guidance of the one who created you. Don’t let your family and friends be left with this loss, unanswered questions or lasting guilt that they somehow should have known. Or maybe this story will help someone suspect that their daughter, son, brother, sister, mom, dad or friend has sunk into a depression and feels there is no other way out.

 

It was in 2013 when the Lyons hooked up with an organization that could help them deal with their loss. “Messages for Hope” has provided opportunity to share with others who have experienced a suicide within their family. Cathy said she learned that someone who is suicidal might keep their suicide plan in the back of his or her mind - an escape plan tucked away as a last resort. 

 

Through Messages for Hope, this family is desperately trying to turn their grief into good for others. On June 11, the Lyon family will participate in their third Suicide Prevention and Memorial Walk. Held at Palatine Park in Fairmont, the fourth annual walk will raise money for the organization to continue its mission of suicide prevention and support of families who are suffering from such a loss. But the walk is also a way for families to pay tribute to those whose lives were suddenly cut short. The Lyon family will set up a table full of pictures and mementos of Vanessa’s short life. They invite you to walk with them or to support "Team Vanessa" in any way you feel led. 

 

Vanessa means "butterfly," her mom said. So Team Vanessa - in pink and purple - is ideal for lifting others up. The team's new shirts feature butterflies. 

 

In the past few years, I’ve driven and walked by this family’s house hundreds of times. Each time, I notice that tree that had been partially uprooted. At first, the tree lost its branches and looked so desolate. The ground around it was in turmoil. As time has passed and seasons have changed, some new growth has returned and the area has been partially restored as the grass has grown back, starting to close that gap.

 

I’m grateful that the Lyon family is also making small steps to recovery.  Cathy said the community has played a major role. She and her family are forever grateful for the outpouring of love and support they have received. They may never be the same or completely restored, but in them a new purpose has been planted.

 

“We want to do this for our Ness,” Cathy said.

 

Let that purpose take root in your family and families you know. Communicate. Pray. Share that dark place. It’s never so dark that it cannot be flooded with healing light. Be encouraged and hopeful that there are answers.  

Register for the walk and/or learn more about Messages of Hope HERE. If you are in a crisis, call 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Read founder Debbie Cardwell's blog "The Listening Room" HERE. 

 

Vanessa Marie Lyon was a member of the Bridgeport High School class of 2003. She loved being with her family and friends and her dog Chewy. She liked shopping and was a lover of all animals. She was very dedicated to her job at the child advocacy center and at Cubby's Child Care Center prior to that. She really liked classic rock and country music.  If you knew Vanessa, help the Lyon family heal by sharing a memory. You can do that by commenting on this story. 

 

 

 

Julie Perine can be reached at 304-848-7200 or julie@connect-bridgeport.com. More "It's Happening" HERE.