I don’t watch scary movies. I don’t even watch funny movies that make fun of scary movies.

 

With that being said, it’s not surprising that in the 25 years which “Fright Farm” has drawn fear seekers to Smithfield, Pa., I’ve stayed far, far away.

 

Until now.

 

After years of hearing about phantom-faced bogeymen popping out of cornfields with chainsaws and the creepy, creaking hallways of the haunted mansion, I joined the masses and visited the rolling acres of Rich Farms.

 

The appeal, you see, wasn’t the blood curdling screams or the poltergeist pranks, it was – as is usually the case with me – the social perks.  In this case, it was about spending Saturday night with my son’s friends and their folks. I decided I was game.

 

About 60 of us caravanned to the site, at which we purchased our VIP passes, good for all four attractions and a gathering spot – a massive Army surplus tent with a roaring campfire outside. I was inside our cozy tent munching on caramel-dipped apple slices when I confided in a friend that I wasn’t really looking forward to the main event. She shared some insight that enabled me to wrap my head around the experience in a whole new way. My imagination went into full gear as she explained what a theatrical production I was about to see. I had gained a whole new appreciation for my haunted social night out. And when the hay wagon came to take us away to our adventure, I had my game face on.

 

We proceeded through a makeshift community – building after building featuring grisly characters, some practically jumping on board – and one pumpkin-headed giant chasing us along the winding wooded pathway.  While being detained in a spooky garage where – via black light – our teeth were much whiter than our pale faces, we were treated to an eerie presentation. The finale was these creepy things emerging out of the ceiling – sort of like squishy stalactites. That whole gig had sort of a circus theme with the music and emcee being creepy with a capital C.

 

After being released, we could see the house of horror, all lit up in blood red fashion. And a hop, skip and a jump later, we were greeted by a ghoulish groundskeeper who told us that weeping, wailing, and shrill screaming were allowed – but flash photography was not.

Upon entering, we found – as my friend had promised – detail after dreadful detail. Although the sites were ghastly, they were extremely well done; the dining room featuring cobwebbed chandeliers and goblets fit for the most ghostly guests. The hollow-eyed host was most happy to see us. I didn’t stick around to hear about what he was cooking up in his cauldron to serve us.

 

The bloody bathroom scene was gross. The floorboards were creaky.  The zombies were many.

 

Terrifying tales were brought to life in room after room and the grounds surrounding the haunted house promised more of the same. There were plenty of surprises, which I’ll leave to your anticipation and imagination.

 

I found that, for me, the experience conjured up more belly laughs than blood curdling screams. I'd describe it all as more startling than scary. 

 

The bottom line is that Fright Farm is a harmless place to chill with friends during the Halloween season. It left me with some laughs and not a single nightmare. I raise my cup of hot cider to the creators, designers and actors for a ghastly job well done.  

 

I still won’t watch scary movies in any way, shape or form.

 

Editor’s Note: Indeed, the “scariest” part of Fright Farm was the very long lines in which non Xpress pass holders have to wait before entering the Terror Maze and PARANOA attractions. Our group's suggestion is to perhaps feature some fun along the way; maybe some interactive games, contests, photo booths, additional characters or live music, maybe? 

 

Character photos are from the Fright Farm Web site, where more information about the Halloween attraction can be found. 

 

Editor's Note: Although Fright Farm and similar attractions are quite popular during the Halloween season, I think portrayal and decoration to this degree of spine-chilling heights should be a destination only occasion. In the media today is the question of whether some individuals and neighborhoods are going too far when it comes to decorating for Halloween and that such ghoulish sights may be too disturbing for young trick-or-treaters. I whole heartedly agree. 

 

Julie Perine can be reached at 304-848-7200 or julie@connect-bridgeport.com. Follow @JuliePerine on Twitter. 

 

 

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