When Bridgeport High School sophomore Gavin Webster was named a member of the varsity golf team this season, his dad Dave had an emotional response.

 

“He looked at me and said he never thought in a million years this day would ever come,” said Gavin's mom Melinda. “For our son to be part of a team – not just a member; an existing body – but a participating player, is a dream fulfilled.”

 

Dave Webster started taking Gavin to the golf course when he was three years old, just after he was diagnosed with autism.

 

Having two cousins on the spectrum, Melinda knew some things about autism, but said she missed some of the initial signs that her own son may have autistic behaviors.

 

“At about age 2, he went from saying ‘I love you’ and ‘mommy and daddy’ to just jibber jabber to not talking at all,” Melinda said. “It kind of took us by surprise. Looking back, it seems like it happened suddenly, but as I reflect, it happened gradually over a period of time. He just flipped back into himself. If he looked at you, he looked right through you. he showed no emotion. There were no hugs and he didn’t say his name.”

 

Once their son was diagnosed, the Websters lined up speech and occupational therapies; those which made a major difference in his outcome. She continues to sing praises to his therapists.

 

“Pam Burgess was an angel. She gave Gavin the gift of speech. She was his special needs preschool teacher and she worked with him intensely, trying to get him to express his feelings – what he was thinking – and she had to teach him from the ground up how to hug, show affection, be kind; things that most parents take for granted and assume their kids will learn,” Melinda said. “Ginny Vincent was his occupational therapist and she was wonderful. He loved her. She spent countless hours teaching him things like how to hold a pencil; again, things most children learn to do on their own and don’t have to be taught.”

 

Both therapists were part of the team which basically had to rebuild Gavin from the foundation up. As Melinda was a stay-at-home mom, she constantly worked with her little boy, teaching him his numbers, colors and other fundamentals.

 

The hardest part of it all, Melinda said, was trying to get the rest of the family to not feel sorry for Gavin.

 

“They had good intentions, but they would tend to feel bad for him and that’s the worst thing you can do. (People on the autism spectrum) may have seen life differently than we all do, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t smart or can’t remember or be a productive person. They just have a different way of going about it,” she said. “We had to look at them and tell them that we wanted him to be a productive adult someday. We knew the future we wanted for him and we knew we weren’t going to live forever, so he had to learn to be as independent as possible,” she said.

 

To make that happen, Melinda said, Gavin’s family had to believe in his potential.

 

“You are their advocate, their voice, coach and mentor. You are everything to that person,” she said. “If you fall back and feel sorry for them – or for yourself – you aren’t doing them any good.”

 

Another family dynamic that Melinda believes was good for Gavin was the fact that he ended up with four younger siblings.

 

“So, we never had a specific routine to get stuck in. People with autism tend to want to be repetitive and their routines can become very rigid. His pediatrician said one of the best things was that we had more kids,” Melinda said. “It’s never quiet here. The routine is always changed. He had to learn to share space, things and time. It’s been good for him.”

 

It was important that Gavin learn life skills; a goal that has carried on through BHS teacher Marsha Coakley, as well as Job Squad, where he spends time this school year.

 

Gavin has had to work twice as hard as the average individual and he’s been misunderstood. He is sweet, kind-hearted and considerate.

“I’ve never heard a cross word about him from anybody,” she said. “He’s the opposite of what we expected him to be able to do. He talks to his friends and approaches people to talk to him; things people wouldn’t expect him to do.”

 

He loves NASCAR and knows a vast amount of very detailed information about it.

 

“It’s one of his gifts. He can read or watch something and remember it years from now,” Melinda said.

 

Gavin is a good student and while keeping good grades – straight A’s for his freshman year – he has learned to balance his school work with household chores, like doing his own laundry.

 

Now, he’s excelling in the game of golf; a game he has shared with his dad for the past 13 years.

 

“He was hooked from the time my husband bought him his first little golf bag and set of clubs. He went on to learn what clubs to use, the etiquette, how to read distances,” Melinda said.  “It’s their lingo; the thing they do together.”

 

Also synonymous of the sport are values like character and integrity and she’s thrilled that while contributing to his school team, he continues to gather values that will enable him to become a productive, independent adult. She’s also thankful that BHS Golf Coach Fred Wilhelm treats Gavin like any other player on the team; expects the same from him and doesn’t make excuses for him.

 

Gavin’s siblings are Gracie, a BHS freshman; Aiden, a seventh grader at Bridgeport Middle School; Cullen, sixth grade at BMS and Sara, fifth grade at Johnson Elementary.

 

Melinda said she truly believes Bridgeport schools and faculty members have made Gavin’s journey a positive one. Having the same basic circle of friends since kindergarten has also been a blessing as the children have rallied around Gavin, accepted him and kept him included.

 

“As a mom, that makes your heart explode,” she said.

 

When diagnosed on the autism spectrum, Gavin was a non-verbal three-year-old and he has grown into a very sufficient 16-year-old, falling in the upper high-functioning end of the spectrum.

 

“I don’t want to put him on a pedestal too much, but where we were 15 years ago to where we are now is like night and day,” Melinda said. “A key in his success was that we’ve never made excuses for him.”

 

Editor's Note: Golf photos are by Ben Queen Photography. Pictured left is Gavin's great-grandpa, who just passed away last year. "He was truly an inspiration to Gavin and why he chooses to continue to do so well in school," Melinda said. "If you study hard and work hard, you can do anything you want to do." Grandpa's advice stuck with Gavin. He's a former member of the U.S. Army, Korean and WW2 veteran, he was a tail gunner in bomber planes.