I missed a turn and my son asked why; out of habit and maybe a little exhaustion I said “I’m not perfect.” My sweet souled boy said “why’d you say that, you are perfect.” And in that moment I thought this is perfection. 

 

I don't know the true definition of perfection but I do know what it is not. Perfectionism is NOT the same thing as striving to do your best and it is NOT self-improvement. The pursuit of a perfectionism is really just the quickest path to anxiety, depression and constantly feeling stuck. 

 

The pursuit of perfectionism looks different for all of us. I’ve seen friends struggle to put their work out into the world until they feel it’s perfect, which never actually comes. I’ve witnessed clients live in anxiety while attempting to perfect their diet or workout routine. While there have been periods of my life that I’ve undergone the same struggles, my most consistent pursuit of perfectionism was always my role with other people. The pursuit to be the perfect trainer, friend, partner, person… and I know a thing or two (million) about the anxiety, depression, and stuck-ness that comes with that pursuit.

 

I’ve worked hard to release those habits and to support myself when I am feeling anxious or feeling depression. I also know that winter, less sunlight, and holidays can provoke those old habits. I find myself wanting to be the perfect mother, friend, family member, trainer… and as I reminded my son I remind myself that I am not perfect, and as he reminded me I am perfect.

 

We live in a society that has a really, really long list of unwritten rules. Bylaws that we live by because we are "supposed" to. The way you are supposed to live, work, look, be and the things you are supposed to have. We are paralyzed by the fear that everyone else may not approve, and the consequences lead further and further from contentment and happiness. We're missing the mark. The only thing you are supposed to do is to live a wholehearted life. Whatever you do: do it wholeheartedly. Whatever you want to be: be it wholeheartedly. The consequences of this lead straight to peace, happiness, and contentment.

 

In the spirit of this holiday season I urge you to take a vow with me. Vow to give up the ever illusive perfect life and start living wholeheartedly. I promise you that I will always support you in that. There will be days that you did it all really, really well and then there will be days that you… well… don’t. And you’ll still be great because you did it wholeheartedly. You’ll still be great because you are not perfect and also because you are perfect.

With love,

Melissa