Language is powerful. What we say and how we say it can have a big impact on the people we are speaking to – often much more than we realise. I’ve trained in trauma informed language, an important sector of health that honors the impact of our language. If you are reading this spend the next week or so pausing before you speak to consider how powerful the each word you choose is. Consider specifically how you choose your language around love.

 

Still, even though, regardless, no matter what. These are the words often used with love. I still love you. Even if you are looking at this sentence from the eyes of the English language: Love would be the verb me still the adverb meaning it was modifying the you. These adverbs and descriptors are not needed when we speak about love. Even more so because using these words requires you to judge. You are not qualified to judge other humans. You are called to love them because you are not qualified to judge them.

 

For the example:

 

• If your friend has an abortion and you are pro life the statement is: I love you.

• If your child is LGBTQ the statement is: I love you.

• If your neighbor gets a divorce the statement is: I love you.

• If your grandchild loves someone from a different culture or race the statement is: I love you.

• If someone you know makes a mistake the statement is: I love you.

 

Non-judgement is one of the Eight Attitudes of Mindfulness that we work to apply throughout all areas of our lives in the Redefining Healthy Initiative. This work is important because… 

 

???“Do not judge, so that you may not be judged; for with the judgment you make you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get.” (Matt. 7:1-2, NRSV)

 

??????“How do you know the complexity of human character? Whoever judges others digs a pit for themselves.” - The Buddha

 

Because you are human. Agnostic, Christian, Atheist, Muslim, Hindu, Jewish, Buddhist, Pagan, Taoist, Wiccan… the list goes on… the list full of humans. Imperfect humans.

 

?You are called to love one another because you are not qualified to judge one another. Practicing non-judgement begins with awareness. First become aware of your judgements - without judging yourself. Think of it as becoming the simple observer of your thoughts. When you notice judgements arise label them for what they are: judgements. Gently remind yourself that you are called to love because you are not qualified to judge. Before speaking, typing, or responding take a moment to pause and reflect if what you are about to say includes judgement. Gently remind yourself that you are called to love because you are not qualified to judge… even yourself.

 

With love (and non-judgement),

Melissa