Sweat & Smiles: Understanding the Root of Issues You Face and Being the Change You Need to Be

By Melissa Romano on June 09, 2018 from Sweat & Smiles via Connect-Bridgeport.com

Ghandi said that we should be the change we want to see in the world. While we share the quotes and even the sentiments of “you only live once”, “tomorrow is never promised”, and “be the change you want to see in the world” we still fall short on one thing: action. Being the change you wish to see requires action, daily action. It requires actual change. So if we share the sentiments and we know them to be true, why don’t we follow through?
The thing that halts our follow through is lack of clarity. Not being clear on what we want won’t give us the drive to even start. A random “I want to lose weight” doesn’t stir anything in the spirit and quite frankly just sounds daunting. If you want to change you’re going to have to be two things: clear and compelling.
Change isn’t hard, change is constant. In fact, the only thing that never changes is change. We find it so hard to change ourselves because our goals seem daunting and not compelling. A goal like lose weight doesn’t signify a feeling and it isn’t very clear. I’d go as far as saying losing weight isn’t actually what you want at all.
At this point I’ve talked to thousands of people about their goals, especially with weight loss, and exactly zero percent of them wanted to lose weight. In fact I’ve spent a lot of time asking people why they wanted to lose weight and here are recurring responses:
  • Being a person that I can be proud of.
  • Be at peace with myself.
  • Be more energetic.
  • To be happy within myself.
  • Be healthy both mentally and physically.
  • Be able to remain calm in stressful situations
  • To be confident.
  • To be in shape.
Your goal would be a lot more compelling if you focused on something like being a person you can be proud of and less about the number on a scale. Focusing all of your energy and attention on clarifying what you actually want will be much more productive and much more compelling than a general statement. These are the kind of big dreams that will get you started. The thing that will keep you going is deciding how you specifically would measure your success and progress. If being a person you can be proud of is what you want then you have to determine what that means to you. Basing your goal off of someone else’s standards increases your odds of giving up by approximately 100 percent (call it a rough guesstimate). 
For me, being a person I can be proud of used to be defined by things like my financial success, my dependability, and the number of people who liked and agreed with me. Those things were all based off someone else’s standards and I was constantly falling short. Nowadays being a person I can be proud of means being compassionate, authentic, and quite literally being the change I want to see in the world. I’ve dropped my expectations of others and started modeling the behavior I’d like to see from others. I let go of all the things I could not control. I lost the weight of the world and as a byproduct I lost the literal extra pounds I didn’t need. 
If you find it hard to change your life then take the time to reflect on what your goals are and why you want them. Get down to the root of the matter. If you can explain it, you aren’t at the root. If I ask you why you want to lose weight and you can explain all of those reasons then you aren’t at the root. When you say I want to be a person I can be proud of and I ask you “why do you want to be a person you can be proud of” the only explanation is the explanation… you want to be a person you can be proud of … you reached the root. From there it’s just a matter of measuring that progress. Checking in everyday and asking yourself, “am I being a person I am proud of” and using your own personal measuring stick to answer.
The truth is we’ve all spent far too long wanting for things we don’t actually want, living by someone else’s standards, and constantly feeling like we are all falling too short. Losing weight isn’t going to make you happy and it won’t change your life. Finding out what it is you do want and actively moving in that direction everyday will make change seem like a stroll in the park. To be the change you want to see in the world you are going to have to start doing more being. 
Sweat & Smiles, 
Editor's Note: Melissa (Romano) Robbins is the founder of You First a personal training program created because of a strong belief that the greatest investment you can make is in yourself! After graduating from West Virginia Wesleyan College she completed 200+ hours to obtain her Professional Certificate of Personal Fitness Training from Pierpont Community College.  Since 2009 she has worked full-time as a personal trainer, group fitness instructor and wellness coach. She believes in functional fitness, healthy lifestyle changes and a holistic approach to a better, happier life. She was born and raised in Clarksburg and is married to Bridgeport native Alan Robbins, owner of First University baseball facility. Alan and Melissa welcomed their son, Cannon in September 2015. Visit Melissa's Web site at  https://youfirst.fitness/ or email her at melissa@youfirst.fitness.

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